My Son Zane

I love all three of my kids equally. I wouldn't want any of them not to be in my life. But for this blog today, I will talk about my 5-year-old boy, Zane.

I can't imagine life without Zane. I find myself always wanting to love on him, whether it be a little hug, a love tap on the back, a quick kiss on the head, check on him while he is sleeping. I just can't get enough of my boy! Zane is utterly amazing to me. Some days he has the energy of five kids, running all through the house shouting at the top of his lungs, "Dad! Dad! Mom! Mom!", wanting to get our attention to say something to us or show us something, which usually only has meaning to him. Or dancing, as only Zane can dance, endlessly to The Wiggles or some other show on TV. Or having lengthy "wrestling" matches which usually are just extended tickle bouts--Zane doesn't want to tickle so much as he wants me to tickle him. And that laugh... it is so wonderful, infectious, and funny. Every once in a while, Zane will look over at my wife or me and will keep his gaze on us until we look at him. And when our eyes meet, the biggest toothy grin comes over his face. And when he tells me he loves me, I just melt, "Anything you want son--anything!"

And Zane is the world's best cuddler. He always tries to let you know exactly what he wants. Zane will forcefully whap whap his hand on the chair or bed when he wants you to sit or lie down with him. He scootches over next to me and I put my arm around him and we cuddle (I think I could sit there forever!). And Zane loves to give kisses... and sometimes they are the very wet variety. For some reason he likes to give them to me on the back of the neck--go figure.

To say Zane lives life with reckless abandon is an understatement. He is usually going all out or he is asleep (we have added deadbolt locks high up on our outer doors just to make sure he doesn't invade the neighborhood). His enthusiasm knows no bounds. Zane is also very loving, forgiving, and compassionate. He has this knack for winning over people's hearts in no time. All his teachers at school and church just adore him. I have to admit, he is hard not to love. Alas, Zane is not perfect. He can be whinny, complain, and difficult to deal with when he doesn't get his way--typical 5-year-old. For some reason, he struggles with daily transitions--TV time to dinner time, dinner time to homework time, bedtime. We trust that he will grow out of it.

I never imagined that a child could bring me such joy, laughter, and love. But Zane manages to pull it off every day. He inspires me. And obviously, I love to brag on my boy.

Nine out of every ten Down Syndrome babies are aborted. Zane was a number ten. Zane was born with Down Syndrome. And we love him just the way he is. Do we wish he hadn't been born with DS? Of course. Do we ask God to heal him every day? You bet. Can I imagine life without him. No way.

My wife and I aren't better than anyone else, but the thought of aborting our baby never crossed our minds. We didn't have an amniocentesis done because of the possibility of it causing a miscarriage. But we thought, "What difference does it make. We plan to keep this baby even if there is some birth defect." Little did we know of Zane's condition until the moment of his birth. It was one of the happiest moments of my life while at the same time being one of profound sadness. I knew immediately, short of a healing from God, my newborn would never do many of the things "normal" kids grow up doing.

Over time, we got over the "normal" vs "handicapped" thing. Zane is our son. Period. And we love him like crazy. There are lots of evil things in this world. Kids with Down Syndrome or other challenges isn't one of them. But abortion is. Deep down in everyone's heart, we know, as people, as humans, as one's with spirits, as creations of God, we know that abortion is the taking of an innocent human life. It isn't right and we know it. We may not want to admit it, but we know it. May I never be complicit in the taking of an innocent human life. Grace abounds for those who have.

Zane is my son. He has Down Syndrome. And I cannot imagine life without him.